Thinking of a Friend

I talked to someone I think is very special today. After talking to him, I reflected for a long time. I'm glad I did, because that's something I had not done in a while. I thought back to my high school days. This was a time when I had a great awakening. It was when I realized that I was gay. A torrent of emotions washed over me when it happened, and a series of events occurred that's been clouded by the sands of time.

What I focused upon though, was the crippling depression that I suffered. It drove me to the point of suicide more than once (good thing I was afraid to die.) Looking back, I realize it was because I confused. I knew I was different, but I couldn't understand why. I was alone. There was no one to show me the light. All I did was sink into myself and fortify the idea I was unworthy. My heart, full of love, but few vessels to pour it to. Without the friends I had at the time I don't think I would be here today. They have my unending gratitude. With their help, I was reborn.

I no longer fear the world nor do I care what it thinks of me. I know my worth and no one can take that away. To anyone reading this: If ever you feel your heart not big enough. Remember that you're bigger than the world and not the other way around.